As a child, one of the rules of the house was that we could never say “no” to the synagogue when it asked the family to help make the minyan. If the minyan needed us, everything else had to stop—mowing the lawn, reading a book, watching “Leave it to Beaver,” watering the garden, listening to the Beatles—it didn’t matter, because only the minyan mattered. Read More
As a child, one of the rules of the house was that we could never say “no” to the synagogue when it asked the family to help make the minyan. If the minyan needed us, everything else had to stop—mowing the lawn, reading a book, watching “Leave it to Beaver,” watering the garden, listening to the Beatles—it didn’t matter, because only the minyan mattered. Read More
You undoubtedly have never received a question like this before, but I’m interested in your opinion. I am a woman, early 30’s, in sales. Without bragging, I’m reasonably attractive and enjoy fashionable clothing. Religious? Not really, and yet I am drawn to Jewish tradition and values. Here’s my query. Am I violating some sacrosanct Jewish tradition by deliberately wearing a short skirt or a lower cut blouse when dealing with male clients? You see, I think that when I play up my sexual self, particularly with men, I can close a deal faster, then when I dress more conservatively. Read More
It was a hard week for Israel. For two years the country and Jews around the world have prayed for the safe return of Ehud Goldwasser and Eldad Regev, two Israeli soldiers whose kidnapping in July of 2006 sparked the 34 day war between Israel and Hezbollah. This week, Israel’s prayers were answered, partially. Ehud and Eldad have finally returned to Israel, in coffins, and have since been buried in Israel’s sacred soil. Read More
Our synagogue has a rule that every Bar Mitzvah boy must bring in his own set of tefillin at the beginning of the year. I have no problem with this but when I told my rabbi that I had hoped Justin (name changed) to use his grandfather’s tefillin, the rabbi took issue saying that the use of his grandfather’s tefillin was inappropriate. I challenged him on that saying that it was a family heirloom, but he held fast to his position claiming that the tefillin were not kosher. I AM INFURIATED! If my kid wants to use his grandfather’s tefillin, who is my rabbi to deny him that right! Read More
Once upon a time there lived an evil king by the name of Balak who greatly feared the Israelites. He had no real reason to fear the Israelites, but okay—we all have our irrational fantasies and anxieties and his surrounded the Israelites. So what did he do? He sent his royal messengers to the local evil wizard by the name of Balaam to curse the Israelites such that they would ultimately be defeated.
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My first wife died eight years ago. I have since remarried a woman who is very nice, but we do have some issues that cause great tension between us. One of them surrounds my saying kaddish for my first wife. She becomes very jealous over my recitation of kaddish for her or my lighting of a yahrzeit candle in her memory. She claims that she is my new wife and I have to leave the past behind. I believe that I have left the past behind, but how can I ignore my first wife’s yahrzeit? She bore my three children and we lived happily for 39 years. Should I forego her yahrzeit for the sake of shalom bayit, peace in my home? Read More
Here’s an interesting way to count—1,2, 4, 7, 9, 13, 14, 15, 16, 22, and so forth. You might not find this way of counting particularly useful, but some Jews find no problem in counting this way.
Let me explain. These days we are engaged in a ritual known as Sefirat HaOmer, Counting the Omer. The Torah instructs us to count 49 days beginning with the second night of Passover. Read More
Israel—Happy Birthday! On Thursday, May 8, Israel will be celebrating its 60th anniversary and we, God willing, will be blessed to witness it. For centuries, the Jewish people prayed to the Holy One to reestablish Jewish sovereignty in the Holy Land, and we are the generation that has been fortunate enough to see those prayers answered. Read More
My son lives out in New Mexico (is this a place for a nice Jewish boy?) and is getting married the first week in November. I want to know if there is any customary rulings or ancient traditions about when to celebrate the Aufruf. Getting the entire family together on Long Island is almost impossible, with one boy in New Hampshire, my daughter in Florida, cousins in California, and my future daughter’s-in-law family in Wisconsin. Read More
I have been thinking about this for quite a while. My husband passed away almost 12 years ago. Since then I am remarried. My husband was a young man when he died. I still keep in touch with my father-in-law, who is quite ill at this time. My brother-in-law died unexpectedly six months before my husband. My mother-in-law died about five years later. When his time comes to leave this earth, he has no children or siblings or spouse who would otherwise sit shivah for him.
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Language is one of the most powerful tools at our disposal for creating impressions and advancing arguments. Every word out of our mouth is a test of our moral integrity, as the power of the tongue will create either truth or falsehood. That is why our tradition addresses the problem of lashon harah, gossip, extensively, as the perpetuation of gossip and idle, mindless chatter about others can so easily create wrong impressions, if not downright slanderous perceptions of others within the community. Read More
Coming to morning minyan is, for me, one of the highlights of my day. Lately I've been wondering--and occasionally lamenting--about how quickly some readers go for the morning service. I'm a very slow reader, having had to teach myself to read Hebrew. Morning prayers are important to me, and I genuinely feel them as I read aloud or silently. But there are one or two leaders who go so fast, there is no way I can keep up. In fact, even when I just swing my eyes across the words and lines, these speed-readers are getting to the out-loud sentence(s) way before it's humanly possible! The other day, just for fun, I timed one leader, and he was somehow able to silently "read" 21 lines of text in less than 4 seconds. Read More
Shabbat Shalom, Everyone. CyberRav here with a bit of Aural Torah for you!
Senator Joe Lieberman thinks him naïve. Representative Sue Myric, a North Carolina Republican, would revoke his passport. Representative Joe Knollenberg, a Republican of Michigan, would suspend tax dollars to the center named for him. It seems like everyone is talking about Jimmy Carter, our octogenarian former president, who in violation of United States policy, has met with representatives of Hamas, an organization identified as a terrorist operation by both the United States and Israel. Read More
Timing is everything, as the question asked by the wife of the Homeland Security employee is similar to the one I planned on asking, and still will ask. In May, the Eighth Congressional District Republican Convention will be held to determine our candidates for the fall. I am a delegate to this convention and as is typical, the convention is being held on Shabbat. As a voting member, for which there are no absentee alternatives, am I permitted to attend and vote in this nominating convention? I know it is not a life/death situation, but I also know the importance of Jewish involvement in community/political affairs.
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Shabbat Shalom, Everyone. CyberRav here with a bit of Aural Torah for you!
The pope is coming to town and will even be going to shul. Word has it that he will be visiting the Park East Synagogue in Manhattan on April 18, the first such visit of a pope to a synagogue in the United States. I hope he receives a warm welcome. The efforts of the Catholic Church to repair the relationship between Catholics and Jews are much to be commended. Nevertheless, there’s what to talk about with the pope. Read More
It's been a while since we've spoken, so just a reminder as to who I am - you did my husband's conversion a few years ago. I had a religious question and I was hoping you could help. Scott (not his real name) recently gave up construction and started a job with homeland security at LaGuardia Airport. He's scanning bags, looking for dangerous items, bombs, terrorists and so forth, and monitoring people in general. They keep putting him on the schedule for Saturday even though he has asked for the Sabbath off and unfortunately he has to work or lose his job, as unfair as that sounds. Read More
Just recently my daughter-in-law's pregnant sister lost her baby to fetal demise. It seems that the umbilical cord got tangled. The baby was at 34 weeks and had to be taken by cesarean section. You should know that the young woman was at extremely high risk during this pregnancy and was hospitalized and being monitored for the past six weeks so there was incredible stress all along. Of course the couple is going to bury the baby. But they are also intent on sitting shivah. This absolutely breaks my heart.
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Shabbat Shalom, Everyone. CyberRav here with a bit of Aural Torah for you! The Cybershul is an international phenomenon, but this week, we’ll give lie to our New York roots and acknowledge the fact that this has not been an easy week for us New Yorkers. It seems as if the governor has not been as law-abiding as we would have expected and that his sense of ethics has been seriously compromised. His adulterous relationship and the illegal actions he took to make that relationship happen, have shaken all New Yorkers whatever their political affiliation. His decision to resign was in the best interests of the state. His betrayal of the public trust cut so deep, it would have been all but impossible for him to govern effectively. Read More
My husband has been working for an orthodox company during the last sic (sic) months. The employees are all men and every day in the early afternoon Mincha (the afternoon prayers) is davened. My husband, a Conservative Jew, chooses not to participate. Last week the minyan was short one person so my husband offered to be the tenth. The leader of the group said that he could not be counted since he does not observe Shabbat in the Orthodox sense (my husband drives on Shabbat to shul, but does not shop or spend money on Shabbat). I have never heard that a minyan "rejects" a Jewish man based on his level of observance. Can you please elaborate for us? Read More
I HAVE BEEN GLUED TO THE PBS SERIES ABOUT THE 350 YEARS OF THE AMERICAN JEWISH EXPERIENCE. EVEN THOUGH I KNEW A LOT ABOUT IT ALREADY, A LITTLE TIDBIT HERE AND THERE ADDS TO ONE’S KNOWLEDGE. IT WAS INTERESTING THAT 7,000 NORTHERN JEWS FOUGHT ON THE UNION SIDE AND 3,000 SOUTHERN JEWS FOUGHT ON THE CONFEDERATE SIDE. HOW DID THE SOUTHERN JEWS RATIONALIZE BEING SLAVE OWNERS, ESPECIALLY AFTER THEIR OWN HISTORY? SOME SOUTHERN JEWS PROBABLY OWNED HUNDREDS OF SLAVES. HOW COULD THEY READ THE STORY OF THE EXODUS FROM EGYPT AND NOT FEEL GUILTY OR ASK WHAT ARE WE DOING? Read More
Some time ago, I found myself in an argument with a lady who was indignant over one of the morning blessings. It was the blessing that reads, “Praised are You, O Lord, Ruler of the universe, for having not made me a woman.” I thought I would diffuse her anger with the fact that the Conservative prayer book had not printed that blessing since 1946, but she persisted in her anti-Judaism rant. It became clear to me that the innovation of the Conservative prayer book could not erase the sting of Orthodox “authenticity.” As far as she was concerned, if you want to know what real Judaism is about, one must look to Orthodoxy. Read More
My oldest child just began Hebrew school this year. A Jewish education was not something I was brought up with. So I, too, am in the learning process now. I have always "believed" in God, prayed informally on occasion, and wanted to feel that there is a higher, loving power. I have been truly enjoying going to Temple recently, and growing in my religious life. But then, something happens that shakes me to my very core. Read More
You know that saying, words are cheap. It’s a lie. Words are not at all cheap. There is a cost to every word we use, and like an investment, our words may bring back a rich return while others come back to haunt us, sapping us of our energy, our reputations, and in some cases, our bank accounts. Because people rarely stop to consider the cost of words, they regularly squander words on lies, curses, slander and lashon hara. These are words that cost us dearly. But the language of prayer is, well, language itself, and words can as easily be used to thank, praise, encourage, comfort, humor and inspire those around us. These are the words that bring back rich returns as we create an environment around us that is positive and reverent of life. Read More
STAND UP AND DON’T SAY KADDISH
